When your wedding ring doesn’t fit anymore, perhaps it is a sign?

A few years ago I wondered this myself. Was this a physical sign that my marriage was ending? I didn’t think too much about it at the time, although I believe now looking back it was indeed another sign that my marriage would soon be over. 20 years with the same person is a very long time. In that time period, you build your life with that person, you choose to have children or not, you experience so much, give so much of yourself, your time, your energy, and in return hopeful to receive the same. As the years move forward things change, you change, life changes as you know it and you find yourself expanding and interested in so many things. Your paths start to look and feel different. You arrive at a crossroad. You perhaps stand at that crossroad for a while, perhaps years, turning around going back along the path you just walked upon over and over again. You try to see something different, you try to add new items or experiences on the path to gain a different result or create a new path to tread upon.

I found that your path is your path and it remains the same. The past is the same and there is no going back. There are only two choices really. To stand at the crossroad never taking a step forward and gazing out towards the horizon or you move your body and start walking towards the horizon to get a better look. It’s up to you to move or not.

I found myself coming to this crossroad many, many times over the 20 years. I would find myself turning around, going back over and over again thinking I could change the mishaps, fill in the gaps, be a better wife, a friend, a mother, try, try, try again and again. I was evolving, I was changing. I wanted so much more, I deserved so much more. My marriage stayed the same. I felt myself becoming almost numb to it all, thinking that my marriage would all miraculously become amazing when I woke up every morning. After the numbness wore off and I checked back into my life, it was still the same and my wedding rings still did not fit. As hard as I tried to put my rings back on, they simply would not fit over my knuckle. My wedding rings did not belong to me anymore, they belonged to the past.
As I stood there at my crossroad, I took my first steps forward and walked towards the beautiful horizon to get a closer look.

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